Bring Me To Life
by Twisted Anjel
Summary: He finally turns away then ever so softly whispers, "I'm sorry, 'Mione," untangles his hands with mine then gets up and leaves me. I watch him retreat up the stairs and out of sight. That's it. That was a start to bringing him back to me. (Oneshot)


Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.  
  
Summary: He finally turns away then ever so softly whispers, "I'm sorry, 'Mione," untangles his hands with mine then gets up and leaves me. I watch him retreat up the stairs and out of sight. That's it. That was a start to bringing him back to me. (One-Shot Songfic)  
  
Author's Note: Here's another one-shot songfic by me. It came into my head and wouldn't leave until I wrote it all down. It's told in first- person Hermione's POV. The song is "Bring Me To Life" by Evanescence (lyrics are not in order). Now I know this song has been used in many Harry Potter fics but mine, I hope, will be a bit different. Also, just a warning, this fic contains angst and plenty of it, so beware. Hope you enjoy reading and please let me know what you think. :::Twisted*Angel:::  
  
P.S. Also, the speech towards the end was challenging for me so please be gentle! Oh, and sorry if it's (the speech) a bit too long.  
  
::::Bring Me To Life::::  
  
All of this sight  
  
I can't believe I couldn't see  
  
Kept in the dark  
  
But you were there in front of me.  
  
I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems  
  
I've got to open my eyes to everything  
  
Without a thought  
  
Without a voice  
  
Without a soul.  
  
Don't let me die here  
  
There must be something more.  
  
Bring me to life.  
  
It's amazing how a person can change so drastically in such a short amount of time. Things used to be so perfect. But nothing lasts forever, right?  
  
This is all Voldemort's doing. The day he got it into his empty little head to take over the world, was the day Destiny decided to take everything good and secure away from Harry, but not all at once, no, but little by little.  
  
Now as I sit here, quietly watching Harry stare at something none of us can see, I curse Voldemort and Destiny for all the havoc and catastrophe they have caused.  
  
If it weren't for them, the war would never have happened, and if it weren't for the war, Ron would still be with us, along with Lavender, Parvati, Dean, Draco, Bill, Fred, Mr. Weasley, Professors Snape and Trelawney, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, and Headmaster Dumbledore.  
  
If all this had never happened and Destiny had let us alone to live in our perfect world, we would all be excited about Graduation tomorrow. Ron would be getting up the nerve to ask Lavender to marry him, Parvati would be trying to tell me my future, Dean would be trying to beat Ron at Wizard's Chess, Draco would be going out with Ginny. Bill would have known that his wife was pregnant with their first child, Fred would be plotting some new joke with George to try and make Ron's life miserable, Mr. Weasley would be telling his wife about some new Muggle contraption. Professor Snape would be taking points off from Gryffindor and Professor Trelawney would be predicting the many different ways Harry will die. Remus Lupin would be giving us last minute advice about life and Sirius Black would be furnishing the new house he had bought for himself and Harry. And Headmaster Dumbledore would be giving us some wise saying that would help us later on in life. And I would still have my mum and dad.  
  
Harry wouldn't be tearing himself up inside and acting lifeless from the outside and I wouldn't be sitting here, wondering if life could get any worse. Was it possible for us to move on with so many lives lost to a war that caused more chaos than it was worth?  
  
I finally sigh and get up, my backside hurting from sitting too long and my head hurting from too many memories. Going over to the couch, I sit down, getting lost in all it's cushions. "Harry?" I whisper softly, placing my hand on his. He's so cold.  
  
He turns to look at me, those eyes that used to be so full of life stare back at mine with so much pain it seems to seep into my soul.  
  
"Harry, shouldn't you get some rest? Graduation is tomorrow, you know," I say, looking away. I can hardly stand to look at his lifeless eyes anymore.  
  
I can still feel him looking at me as he says, "I know, Hermione." He stops here and looks back at the fire. "It doesn't seem fair, does it?" he asks suddenly.  
  
I turn towards him, my lips pursed in a straight line. Will the torment ever stop? "No, it doesn't."  
  
"I mean, why should I be able to move on with my life when others died for my sake? They died from a fight that wasn't even theirs. Why didn't Voldemort kill me instead? That's what he wanted, wasn't it? To see me dead like my mum and dad. Why did he have to go after our friends and our family members? What did he have against your parents?" He was now glaring at the fire, the flames burning in his eyes.  
  
Tears fill my eyes and I turn away quickly, I don't want Harry to see me cry. I press my hand over my mouth to stop the sobs that try to escape. I am so sick of crying, of hurting. I'm sick of having dreams about my parents reaching out to me and calling for help and all I do is turn away from them.  
  
"I should have died out there, not all those innocent people who got sucked into Voldemort's plan. You should still be able to go home to your parents when school is over. George should still have his other half to open the joke shop with. Professor Snape should be here to scowl at us. I should be de -"  
  
"STOP!" I scream suddenly, jumping up and covering my ears with my hands. I can't take anymore, I'm going crazy. "Just stop it, Harry! I'm so sick of this! We can't sit here, day after day, eating ourselves up when we could have done nothing. What's done is done and though it seems like we can't move on, we have to, for all of our loved ones who died," I was crying now, hot , angry tears were spilling down my cheeks but I didn't make a move to wipe them, I don't care if he sees me cry. I just don't care. "Don't you see, Harry? We are left, just you and me. We need each other!" I tell him, then kneel down in front of him.  
  
"I need you," I whisper, looking up at him, trying to see some of that Harry that I used to love so much.  
  
He stares back at me, those cold eyes see through me and I shiver. "Where are you, Harry?" I ask, shaking his hands urgently.  
  
He finally turns away then ever so softly, whispers, "I'm sorry, 'Mione," untangles his hands with mine then gets up and leaves me. I watch him retreat up the stairs and out of sight. That's it.  
  
"I'm sorry, "Mione," Is whirling in my head, over and over again, and I realize he called me by the nickname that Ron seemed to love so much. Harry had always preferred to call me by my whole name, never the one for nicknames. Ron had always called me 'Mione, though I hated it. Now, I would do anything to hear him call me that again.  
  
I stand up and fall back on the couch, letting the fire dry my tears. Harry called me 'Mione. The Harry I used to know had returned even if only for a split second.  
  
That was a start to bringing him back to me.  
  
::::  
  
Now that I know what I'm without,  
  
You can't just leave me.  
  
Breathe into me and make me real.  
  
Bring me to life.  
  
I've been living a lie  
  
There's nothing inside.  
  
Frozen inside without your touch,  
  
Without your love, darling.  
  
Only you are the life among the dead.  
  
I don't know how I made it up to my dorm and under my covers but as I slowly realize there is someone sobbing, I sit up.  
  
"Ginny?" I call softly. The younger girl has taken to sleeping in my otherwise empty dorm since the war has ended. Everyone has nightmares and now it was my turn to comfort her.  
  
I shiver as the warmth of my bed leaves me and the cold air hits me full force. I pad over to her and shake her gently, she's crying in her sleep.  
  
"Draco please! Don't go, you're only going to die!" she's saying, almost shouting. She's whipping her head from side to side, her face is scrunched up as if she's trying to hold in sobs that want to escape.  
  
I shake her harder. "Ginny! Ginny, wake up."  
  
She stops moving and opens her eyes, Draco's name fading from her mouth. "Oh, oh Hermione it was awful!" she cries, then bursts into fresh sobs.  
  
I sit on the edge of her bed and wrap my arms around her. I feel like her mum; if only I had mine. Rubbing her back slowly, I whisper over and over, "Shh, it was just another dream. It's all right now ..." How can I say it's all right when it's not?  
  
Nothing will ever be all right ever again.  
  
When her sobs turn into hiccups, she sits up and smiles ruefully at me. "Sorry, Herm, for waking you up," she says, running a hand across her face. Though she is only sixteen, her eyes seem much older. I guess that's how we all look; the survivors of a war gone too far.  
  
"Don't mention it, Re -, uh Gin. That's what friends are for," I say, stopping myself from calling her Red; Draco's nickname for her. It was very catching.  
  
She smiles sadly. "It's okay, you can call me that. I have to move on, right?" she says, staring off into space.  
  
I shake my head at no one in particular, then get up and go over to my own bed. As I snuggle into the covers, trying to get warm (though I don't think I was shivering from the weather), Ginny says, "I heard you downstairs with Harry."  
  
I shut my eyes briefly, trying to stop sudden tears. I swallow the lump in my throat and breathe slowly as my heart contracts painfully.  
  
"You've gotten through to him, Herm, I know it," she continues, softly.  
  
"Yeah, right," I manage. "He's too far into himself for me to be of any help. He doesn't need me," I retort, trying to stop my voice from cracking but failing.  
  
"He doesn't need my love," I add, but quietly so Ginny won't hear.  
  
It seems she caught it though because she says, "Don't say that. He's just going through a tough time; we all are. He needs your love even if he doesn't act like it. Trust me."  
  
I shake my head then feel stupid because Ginny can't see me in the dark. "How do you know?" I ask, hoping beyond hope that she's right but doubting her words nonetheless.  
  
"It's obvious to everyone except you. It's been obvious. Ron -" she starts then stops when her voice cracks. "Ron always thought you two deserved each other and always believed you would end up together," she finishes, clearing her throat.  
  
I hold back the tears at the mention of my best friend. If he were here, and none of this mess had ever happened, he would have been laughing at his two best friends. "He did, did he?" Is all I can say. What else is there to say?  
  
"Yup, and he's right too. Just be patient and be there for him. He'll realize you're the one for him," she says, and it seems as if she's drifting off to sleep.  
  
"Am I the one for him? Is it right to have feelings for your brokenhearted best friend at a time like this?" I whisper to the darkness. We're all brokenhearted. I mean, look at Ginny, sitting here telling me that Harry loves me when she lost her love so recently. We have to be brave, everyone says, but the one person who everyone expects to be the bravest is pushing everyone away from him, even me.  
  
As I lay here, staring up at the ceiling, trying to calm myself because my unshed tears are causing my throat to hurt, I hear Ginny's even breathing. I sigh, relieved that this time she was able to fall back asleep. Lucky her. I can never fall asleep after a nightmare (which explains the dark bags under my eyes) and though I wasn't the one with the nightmare this time, sleep eludes me.  
  
Sighing, I again push away my covers and get out of bed. I grab my robe and slippers and slip out of the room. As I shut the door quietly behind me, I hear a voice downstairs. It seems frightened, or angry, I can't decide which. I'm torn between heading back into the room and hiding under my covers or going into the common room and finding out who's down there after curfew.  
  
I might as well be brave. I jog down the stairs quietly, grateful that I'm not making any noise. As I get closer, the voice becomes familiar and I gasp as the voice doesn't sound angry or frightened; but desperate.  
  
"No! Go Ron! Take Hermione and watch over her for me!"  
  
Harry.  
  
I edge over to the couch where he is lying down, face held in a brave scowl and head swinging from side to side. Though we all have nightmares, I know that Harry's are probably the worst - considering all the guilt that he has collected over the years.  
  
I kneel down in front of him, watching as he shouts for us to leave and save ourselves and as suddenly as his shouts had started, tears begin to fall from under his eyelids and he whispers, "Tell her ... Tell her I ..." he doesn't seem to be able to finish this statement because he starts to sob.  
  
I'm so surprised that I just stare at him for a full moment. I've never really seen Harry sob, I mean, a few stray tears or so, but he always has to act so damn brave. I stand up and sit behind Harry, and slowly gather him up in my arms.  
  
"Tell me what, Harry?" I whisper, as I rest my head on top of his, his hair soft against my cheek.  
  
His sobs turn into silent tears. "Tell her I lo ... I lov ... tell her to never forget me," he says, though I could have sworn he was about to say 'love.' Before I can stop them, tears are falling down my cheeks and I'm holding him tighter. I run a finger down his cheek, wiping away the tears. As my finger brushes against his lips, a vivid memory of the day before the war started flashes in my head and I smile. That was the time when we were all innocent and carefree, not knowing what destruction a Dark Lord like Voldemort could do.  
  
If only we could go back in time ....  
  
Harry, Ron, and I were all sitting on the same couch I am now holding Harry on. We were studying for the big Potion's test tomorrow, our heads buried in the large books. It was late and we were the only three in the common room, trying to stay awake long enough to remember the key facts.  
  
As I stifled a yawn I felt something large and soft hit my head. "Hey!" I cried, as a red pillow fell on my lap. I looked over at the boys; next to me, Ron was still studying, completely lost in the book (for once), while next to him, Harry was shaking with suppressed laughter.  
  
I grabbed the pillow and threw it across the couch, smirking when Harry stopped laughing and looked up at me. "Hey!" he shouted, smiling now. "You'll pay for that one." He threw it back my way and before I could throw it back, he grabbed another pillow and chucked it at me.  
  
We were laughing now, throwing the pillows back and forth, our studies forgotten. Finally, Ron looked up with a very McGonagall expression and said, "You guys! We're supposed to be studying! Do you want to fail this test?" he asked, then looked at me. "'Mione, I am very disappointed in you!"  
  
That made Harry and I laugh even harder, imagine Ron scolding me! He shook his head and stood up, covering a yawn with his hand. "Okay, fine. If you two won't let me study I'm going to bed," he said and smiled to show he was kidding. I knew for a fact that he was glad for the interruption.  
  
"'Night Ron," Harry and I chorused after him. Ron mumbled his goodnights and disappeared up the staircase. We were quiet a few moments and then the war began all over again.  
  
Instead of throwing back a gold pillow, I had decided to tickle him, because, of course, I knew Harry's ticklish spots. "Hey!" he gasped between laughter. "Mercy! You win!" he shouted, pushing me off.  
  
I smiled cheekily at him and fixed my robes, glad to have finally beaten him at that game. And before I knew what was happening, Harry was on top of me, tickling my sides for all he was worth. "Harry!" I gasped, startled and yet trying not to laugh.  
  
"I got you this time!" he said above my uncontrolled laughter.  
  
And as fast as he had began tickling me, he had stopped, and we fell into silence. Harry was still on top of me, we were laying there face to face, breathing hard. We were staring at each other for a full minute until he broke the silence with a whispered, "I win."  
  
"Yeah," I said back, out of breath not only from our tickling match but from the proximity of Harry's body to mine.  
  
He looked down at me, his eyes shone brightly with a mixture of desire and something else that I couldn't quite understand. "Harry ..." I said quietly, as our faces inched closer and closer together.  
  
Before I knew what was happening, Harry had his lips pressed against mine and I felt myself melting into him. I had always read and heard about two people kissing for the first time and how wonderful it was, but this kiss had been more wonderful than wonderful. It might sound cheesy, but I had actually felt complete.  
  
Then, instead of Harry's warmth, cold space was all that was left as he hastily got off me and began to pick up our forgotten books from the floor.  
  
I stood up, still dizzy from the one thing that I had wanted since fifth year. "Harry," I said, reaching out to him.  
  
"I am so sorry, Hermione. I don't know what got into me ..." he had stammered, not meeting my eyes.  
  
"But Harry -"  
  
"I'm really sorry," he had said again, leaving me in the common room alone.  
  
I had planned to talk to him about it the very next day but never got around to it, let alone the Potion's test, when Voldemort had made himself known once again.  
  
.... Now it's too late to talk about it. It's too late to tell Harry I love him and that I long to hold him, just like I'm doing now, and make his world all right.  
  
"Hermione ...." he whispers, shifting in my arms.  
  
"I'm here, Harry," I tell him, running my fingers through his hair. "I'll always be here for you," I reassure him even though I know he probably won't even remember this in the morning.  
  
I lean my head against the armrest and let my eyes fall shut. I'm so tired but I can't fall asleep here, what if Harry wakes up? He'll probably never speak to me again. No, this is Harry I'm talking about. He'll just act like it never happened; just like that kiss.  
  
I sigh then slip out from behind him; I really should go to bed, I can't fall asleep in the middle of my speech. I bend down in front of him and watch as he sleeps. He actually looks peaceful, like the eleven-year-old I used to know. I lean closer and kiss him on the forehead, then without thinking I move down and kiss him gently on the lips. An electric shock goes through me and I gasp. Was that normal? Well, then again I do live in the wizarding world; nothing is normal here.  
  
I did feel a shock. A mix of warmth and sadness at the same time. Did it come from me? Harry? Or from the both of us? What was that?  
  
"Hermione?"  
  
I look up, startled. "Harry! Uh, um, hi," I stammer pathetically. I can't believe he woke up! Did he feel it, too?  
  
"What are you doing?" he asks, looking at me with those emotionless eyes.  
  
"Well, Ginny had a nightmare and woke me up and when I was going back to sleep I heard noises down here and came to investigate. You were having a nightmare," I say all in one breath.  
  
"Well, I'm fine now. Thank you," he says, turning away. He begins to walk towards the stairs and I can feel my heart slipping further into the pit of my stomach with each step he takes.  
  
"Do you remember?" I ask suddenly, surprising myself. I really should think before I act. Where has the old Hermione gone?  
  
She was sucked away when the war happened. When Voldemort took away my friends and my family. When he took away my best friend and changed Harry to a person I don't even recognize anymore.  
  
He stops in his tracks but doesn't turn around. "What?"  
  
"Do remember the night before the war had begun?" I ask again, then forge on. "We were all studying down here late at night for the Potion's test. Ron had gone off to bed and we had a pillow fight then a tickling fight, do you remember?"  
  
I don't wait for him to answer, I continue. "You were tickling me, we were laying on the couch and you were on top of me. We stopped laughing and you looked down at me and before I knew what was happening you were kissing me. Do you remember that kiss, Harry?" I can't believe I'm telling him this but I'm suddenly feeling braver. I get off the ground and walk up in front of me.  
  
I stare into his eyes, trying to get through to his heart; his soul. "I remember, Harry. I remember everything about that night. How you made me feel and how you made me see."  
  
He looks at me briefly, then averts his eyes as he replies, "I don't know what you're talking about." I know he does, I see it in his eyes.  
  
I grab his shoulders in frustration. "Yes, you do! I know you do! How did you feel, Harry?"  
  
He presses his lips together and won't answer. I shake his shoulders trying to get him to understand how much this means to me. "Please, Harry. Don't try to forget; Ron wouldn't want you too," I say, a bit louder than I intended.  
  
His head suddenly snaps up to look at me, his eyes are dark and intense. "Don't," he says, his voice coming out low and deep, "ever say that name in front of me again. Do you hear me? Never!" he shouts, now his hands are gripping my shoulders painfully and I flinch.  
  
I have never seen him so angry and it scares me, but I go on. "Why, Harry? He was our best friend and he died fighting for what was right. Don't you think he would want us to remember him? Why is it so hard for you to move on and accept it? We've all lost people we love, but we're trying to move on. You, you just move around day after day looking as if you've died inside!"  
  
"Maybe I have," he says, quieter this time. "You don't get it, Hermione. For all your smarts and all your books, you just can't figure this out, can you? It was all my fault! Don't you see? If I were never born, none of this would have happened! Why should I move on? Why do I have the right to be happy when his life was cut short because he was best friends with the bloody Boy-Who-Lived?"  
  
"You know Ron doesn't blame you. None of them do. I don't," I whisper, letting my hands slip from his shoulders down to his hands and I grasp them tightly. "You might think I don't understand, Harry, but that's where you're wrong. You're the one who doesn't understand."  
  
He shakes his head and turns away, letting his hands fall away from shoulders and his hands away from mine. He gets ready to walk away but I stop him. "Well? Do you remember?"  
  
He stops for a brief second, glances back at me then walks away. I still don't know if he felt the way I did those many weeks ago when he had kissed me and I don't know if he felt that shock that had coursed through me only minutes before.  
  
But as I watch him walk away from me for the second time in one night, I hear the faint whisper and see him reach up and touch his lips.  
  
"I remember."  
  
:::  
  
(Wake me up)  
  
Wake me up inside.  
  
(I can't wake up)  
  
Call my name and save me from the dark.  
  
(Save me)  
  
Bid my blood to run  
  
(I can't wake up)  
  
Before I come undone.  
  
(Save me)  
  
Save me from the nothing I've become.  
  
Everyone has been smiling reassuringly at me and sending me their good lucks all day. But as Headmistress McGonagall finishes her speech and calls me up, I feel nothing but dread.  
  
"Good luck," Seamus whispers with a small smile as I pass him.  
  
"You'll do great," Ginny calls after me as I move on down the row of chairs.  
  
More of my peers say similar things and as I get closer to the stage, I feel a bit better. But when I pass Harry, he says nothing, he doesn't even look at me. My heart is sinking again and I'm feeling a sense of foreboding. Lord, help me, I pray, taking deep breaths.  
  
Today is the day I get through to Harry.  
  
"And here she is, top student of the class of 2004, Miss Hermione Granger!" McGonagall announces as I appear on stage.  
  
She turns and smiles at me; not that stern smile she reserves for her students but not as happy as a smile should be. Poor Professor McGonagall; she has lost so much.  
  
I walk up to her with a smile plastered on my face and my stomach feeling queasy. She hugs me tightly and whispers in my ear, "Wow us like you always do."  
  
I nod slightly and stand behind the podium. I'm so happy I have something to stand behind, to hold on to for support because I know I would have fainted otherwise.  
  
I scan the crowd, instantly spotting the Weasley family, their fiery red hair sticking out in the bright sunlight. Though not the upbeat family they once were, they smile encouragingly at me and send me thumbs up. I look around some more, my heart squeezing tightly inside my chest when I think of my parents missing the day they had so longed to see; well, besides my wedding, of course, but I don't think that will ever happen, considering the one I love is choosing to throw me aside.  
  
As the crowd begins to squirm, I smooth down my robes and clear my throat, taking one last deep breathe to calm myself.  
  
"Welcome family and friends," I begin as is usual. I then open my mouth to continue with the speech I had written but stopped. I can't do this. I can't leave this school, my second home for seven years, with a boring speech that everyone has heard before. Things need to be said and I'm going to say them.  
  
"I had a speech prepared for this day. I had it all memorized but as I stand here seeing all of you who have survived and all of you who will never be the same, I know I can't just tell you how great it was to have gone to this magnificent school. Just a month ago, the war that witches and wizards have feared for centuries erupted and we were pulled in full force. We were told to decide the side we wanted to be on, the Light or the Dark. For some, this decision was made even before they had begun to walk and for others, it was decided only minutes before we rushed out of the safety of the castle to fight the most evil wizard that ever lived.  
  
"As we rushed out of the castle, hearts pounding with fear and anxiety, the day loomed ahead of us. We didn't know if we would be able to trudge back into the castle waiting for another round tomorrow, or if we would be the one to die that very day. We knew the consequences when we decided to fight and we're were okay with them. Not completely fine about them, of course, but okay.  
  
"I remember standing in the large doorway, in between my two best friends. Ron was taking deep breaths, wand held firmly in his hand. His other was gripping mine, protectively. Harry, on my other side, was also holding his wand in one hand and mine in the other. He was telling us that no matter what happened, we would always have each other. Nothing could break that invincible bond we shared. We were the Dynamic Trio, the Dream Team. We could overthrow anything if we were together. And haven't we proved that in the past couple of years? What happened this time? Why was one-third of our triangle taken?"  
  
I stop here, trying to control my emotions. As I look out at the Weasleys, I wonder if I've gone too far. Mrs. Weasley is crying, her boys hugging her from either side. She lost three sons and her husband, and yet here she is, smiling up at me and nodding ever so slightly.  
  
I give her a small smile then take another deep breath. I have to continue. I have to get through to Harry.  
  
"Everything happens for a reason, we are always told. I believe this is true. We might not understand the reason or we might not like it but it's there. Our loved ones were taken but they helped kill Voldemort. That's right, we shouldn't be afraid to say his name. Like Headmaster Dumbledore always use to say: 'Fear in a name, causes fear in the thing its self.' He was correct, of course. They died fighting for what was right and good. We are so proud of them and I know that they are proud of us.  
  
"Most of us feel guilty about moving on, we feel as if it isn't fair to be alive when our loved ones are not. But they want us to move on, to be happy. We have to keep going, to live the life we all fought so hard to live in. Voldemort is no longer alive; most of his Death Eaters are gone also. This doesn't mean they aren't others out there who will try to do evil, but we can overcome them.  
  
"We will be leaving this school that we have considered home for the better part of our lives. We had the best Headmaster and the best professors a school could have. We were taught well. Not only in spells and protection, but we were taught about love and honesty and goodness. We will leave today with all of this knowledge that will never be forgotten and we will live the best we can.  
  
"I'm sorry for taking up so much of your time, but I have a couple more things to say. One is to a certain someone. You have been there since our first year of Hogwarts. I could always go to you for anything. You were my best friend, my confidante when no one else would listen. I could always count on you to make me feel better no matter the situation. You had told us that no matter the outcome of this war, we would always have each other. Where are you now? You feel guilty for everything that has happened and no matter what I say, you continue to drown yourself in the belief that everything horrible that happens is your fault. It isn't.  
  
"I don't want to keep telling you the same thing over and over again, so I'll stop. I just wanted to say thank you for your friendship. We have been through way too much and I know we can go through more. I will be here for you like you have been here for me, no matter how much time it takes you to realize this. Just please come back to me, okay?  
  
"To the Weasley family for their tremendous love and for bringing up a son as wonderful as Ron and as lively as Fred and Bill. Thank you for always being there for us and for treating us like family. I love you guys.  
  
"Headmistress McGonagall, you took on a job that seemed almost impossible. You raised us out of our gloom and reminded us what we have to live up to. Thank you for you endless teachings and your endless support. We couldn't have done this without you.  
  
"To my parents who are no longer with me, without you I wouldn't be alive. You raised me the best you knew how and I feel blessed to have had such wonderful parents who taught me the meaning of love and life. I know you are watching over me, I love you.  
  
"Ron, I know you're up there smiling down on us, cheering us on. You made our life at Hogwarts fun and anything but boring. We will always remember you and love you. Save me a seat up there, okay?  
  
"And to all of my fellow peers and friends, we had to grow up faster then normal but we finally made it. We got through pranks from Peeves, endless essays, difficult tests, and shocking acts from Voldemort himself. Thank you for all our great times here.  
  
"Well, this is it, we are ready to go out into the world and show everyone what we're made of. To the class of 2004: We finally made it!"  
  
I finish with a loud cry, followed by loud cheers from the crowd. I wipe my eyes and a genuine smile lights up my face for the first time in weeks as I see everyone stand up, clapping loudly. Everyone is crying, smiling, and cheering and I breathe a sigh of relief.  
  
With a loud whoop, we throw our caps off and they fly into the air. The bright, blue sky turns into a blur of red and gold as I look up, and I feel happier than I have in a long time.  
  
"Wow, Herm! You were fantastic! Everyone was crying!" Ginny tells me, hugging me tightly.  
  
"Hermione, dear!" I turn to see Mrs. Weasley's worn face. She's smiling proudly. "You were brilliant!" She hugs me and whispers, "Your parents would be so proud!"  
  
"Bloody brilliant speech, Herm," George says with one of his trademark grins. I'm happy to see him smiling, since he seemed to have lost a part of himself when Fred was killed. He leans down to hug me and whispers in my ear, "Harry went inside the castle."  
  
I smile up at him. "Thanks," I say then quietly slip away.  
  
Enough is enough. Harry will have to listen to me whether he wants to or not.  
  
: : :  
  
I hurry inside and run towards the Gryffindor Common Room. As I reach the portrait of the Fat Lady, she beams at me.  
  
"I heard you gave a magnificent speech, my dear. Congratulations!" she cries and lets the portrait door swing open without even hearing the password. I thank her and hurry inside.  
  
And there is Harry, curled up on the window seat, staring out of the large window. I sit down next to him but he doesn't turn to look at me. Either he's choosing not to or he's just too lost in his own thoughts to have heard me. "Hey," I say quietly, not wanting to startle him.  
  
"Hey," he replies, looking at me. To my surprise, he gives me a small smile.  
  
"Are you okay?" I ask, stopping myself from touching him.  
  
He nods. "Great speech, by the way."  
  
"Thanks," is all I can say as we both fall into silence. I smile slightly as I see everybody outside, laughing and talking happily. That's how it should be.  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
The sudden noise startles me, though it came in a whisper. Harry is looking at me intently, his green eyes shining brightly with remorse and shame. "You have nothing to be sorry for," I tell him, my heart aching.  
  
He shifts, so he's facing me. He takes my hands in his and holds them tightly. "I have everything to apologize for."  
  
The sudden change in his attitude surprises me. His hands feel warm around mine, and I wish he would wrap his arms around me and hold me close.  
  
"I'm sorry for pushing you away, for being such a prat. I thought if I ignored you, you would begin to hate me. Then you'd be safe of whatever else is lurking out there, ready to attack as soon as we think everything is back to normal."  
  
I shake my head and open my mouth to say something but he holds up a hand. "Let me finish, please. It doesn't work that way, though. It's not that simple; nothing is. I thought it would be so easy for me to push you away, to act indifferent to you. But I saw the way it hurt you and I also knew that you would never hate me. You said it over and over again and I heard you, I really did, I just tried to ignore you. I know now, that I can't live without, Hermione. You and Ron have always been there, always fighting next to me. When I saw Ron die I felt a part of me die too. I thought of you and I knew I would have literally died if you had ... you know. That should have made me realize something that everyone else already knew. But instead, that made me push you away, try to make you think I didn't care. But I do, more than I can say. Last night you told me you needed me, remember?"  
  
I just nod, mouth slightly agape and eyes beginning to tear. He was finally understanding what I was trying to tell him.  
  
"Instead of telling you the truth I just got up and left. I need you, too. Probably more than you need me. I wanted to take you in my arms and tell you that I remembered that kiss; how couldn't I? I had waited so long to kiss you and when I actually did, I got scared. I didn't know how you felt and when you tried to tell me last night, I tried to shut you out."  
  
"You did," I tell him, trying to look away but not able to.  
  
"No, I didn't," he says, shaking his head. "I made you think I did. Even though I knew you knew I remembered that night, I still insisted in ignoring the fact that it meant so much to you. I knew that if you told me how you had felt then, I would have broken down completely and my little plan would have crumbled. What I didn't know was that it had already crumbled. I had already decided to tell you," he finishes, urgently, shaking my hands.  
  
"Tell me what, Harry?" I ask, holding my breath.  
  
"That I love you," he says without hesitation. "I knew before ... the war ... that my feelings towards you were changing. They weren't the friendly feelings that I used to have. Back then I didn't believe it was love, I was only fifteen, but as the years passed I realized that I was falling in love with my best friend and that there was nothing I could do to stop it. Ron knew, of course, and endlessly bugged me about telling you. I told him he was crazy, that you couldn't possibly feel the same way. The logical Hermione in love with one of her best friends? Too good to be true.  
  
"But Ron wouldn't budge. The whole pillow fight the night before? It was a plan he had come up with. Why do you think he acted as if he really wanted to study and then acted annoyed when we wouldn't let him so he went upstairs? He knew hat if he didn't get rid of himself without making us suspicious, we would happen naturally. And we did, well, sort of. Until I thought you were mad when I kissed you and ran away. The feeling I got when I did scared me."  
  
I smile at him. "How did you feel, Harry?"  
  
He smiles back and I see a blush creep into his face. "This might sound funny ... but ... I felt ... whole. Like kissing you was the most natural thing in the world. It felt so good, so right. I felt whole, if you can believe that."  
  
"I can, because I felt the same way," I respond, unable to stop smiling.  
  
He looks at me, his eyes bright and happy and I feel my heart being restored. "Oh, one thing I forgot to mention," he begins then looks a bit uncomfortable.  
  
"What?" I ask, getting nervous. What now?  
  
"Last night, when I woke up in here and you were kneeling next to me ... The reason I woke up so suddenly, was because I felt something ..." he scrunched up his face, as if trying to remember.  
  
I clear my throat and turn my face away when I feel my face turning hot. "Well, I had, um, just kissed you, on the lips, and, um, when I did, I felt like a shock of some ... sort ..." I trail off, slightly embarrassed.  
  
Harry laughs and places a hand on my cheek and turns my head to face him. "That's what it was! I felt it too! I wasn't sure if it was from you ..."  
  
"Well, you know there's only one way to find out if we both felt it because of each other, right?" I ask, feeling brave yet nervous at what I was suggesting.  
  
"Really? How?" he asks, though I know he already knows how because he's smirking like Draco Malfoy.  
  
"Well ..." I start but I can't continue because Harry's lips are on mine. I'm so startled that I just sit there and do nothing until he wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me closer.  
  
As my whole body begins to tingle, I bring my arms up and around his neck, fingering the hairs on the back of his neck. Who needs a shock when I feel like I'm floating on a cloud?  
  
He's holding me tighter and kissing me more urgently. This kiss is nothing like the first one those many weeks ago. This one is passionate and more urgent. We've both been waiting so long for this that we want to get as close as possible.  
  
I feel myself leaning backwards and I realize that I'm pulling Harry down on top of me but I don't care. This is what I've wanted and it feels so right that I don't want to stop. He slowly moves his lips from mine and slides down the side of my neck, gently trailing kisses down my throat and back up to my mouth. His arms travel up my sides and I involuntarily shiver as he lightly touches my skin.  
  
"Finally!"  
  
Harry and I both jump apart, panting heavily. We turn to see the source of the voice and my mouth drops to the floor. "R-Ron?" I whisper in shock.  
  
"Is that you?" I barely hear Harry say next to me.  
  
"The one and only," says the grinning, white form of Ronald Weasley.  
  
"Ron?" I say again, unable to form any other word.  
  
"In the flesh. Well, not really, but you understand what I mean," he says, his trademark grin never leaving his face.  
  
"B-But h-how ..." Well, look at that, I'm getting better!  
  
"I had some unfinished business down here and now that my work is done, I thought I'd say good-bye. I should be off, though, before Fred takes it in his head to haunt poor Ginny. She'd kill me when she got up there," he says, then laughs at his own joke.  
  
I smile, wiping tears from my eyes. "What business?" Harry asks, trying to keep his eyes from misting over.  
  
He laughs again and shakes his head. "Well, my job was to get you two to finally confess to each other. It wasn't an easy task, mind you. Especially because you, mate, are so stubborn! Poor Hermione trying to get through to you when all you do is walk away. If I were her I would have hexed you to the sky and back. Bloody brilliant speech, 'Mione, you even had Snape blubbering."  
  
"Thanks," I say, tears sliding down my cheeks unnoticed.  
  
"Anyway, seeing as my work is done ... Oh, and Harry, you hurt her and you'll be having a little visit from me, you hear?" he says, causing the both of us to laugh.  
  
"Well, I'm off. Don't do anything I wouldn't do," he laughs.  
  
"Bye Ron, I'm going to miss you," I say, sniffling. Harry nods beside me.  
  
"Awe, none of that, 'Mione! Like you said, I'll always be with you. Now, go back to your snogging session. If you ask me, it's about time!" With that, he gives us another grin and vanishes in a blinding light.  
  
We're silent for a moment then turn to look at each other. "Well, we should follow orders," Harry says, an evil smile growing on his face.  
  
"What orders?"  
  
He wraps his arms around me and pulls me closer. He looks down at me then lowers his mouth to mine. "These orders," he whispers, as I find myself melting into bliss.  
  
"That's more like it!" We hear Ron's voice shout gleefully.  
  
Harry laughs and lifts his head to look at me. "Thanks, love," he says, softly.  
  
I look at him, confused. "For what?"  
  
"For bringing me back to life."  
  
: : :  
  
How can you see into my eyes  
  
Like open doors  
  
Leading you down into my core  
  
Where I've become so numb?  
  
My spirit's sleeping somewhere cold,  
  
Until you find it there and lead it back home. 


End file.
